The Dark

No matter how much time passes, no matter how long in therapy, no matter what is going on in my life, it always comes back to this. This tight feeling in the pit of my stomach. This feeling of nausea and heaviness. This darkness. I can't get away from it. I work through my past. I head toward a more fulfilling life. I try to get over the wrongs of my childhood. I heal from the pain in my past. I get better and stronger. I feel more solid and calm. But I am a mess. Sometimes I really don't see the point. Sometimes I can see no joy in my life. I just feel this thing inside me. Lurking in the crevices of my body, of my soul. The dark that wants to consume me. Wants to devour me whole. I don't want to let it, but I'm just so tired. Tired of hurting. Tired of fighting the dark.