Tired

Alright, so here's the deal. I'm fucking tired! After many years of working hard to figure out what I really want to do, working all kinds of crazy shitty jobs and struggling to make enough money to survive, I have finally gotten to the point where maybe, quite probably, I know what I truly, truly want to do. I want to write. I want to write articles for magazines and travel publications, and write comic books and screenplays, and maybe lots more things. Yay, right!?! It's about freaking time I figured it out. I'm 28 already! Of course, deciding that you want to write, and make a living at it, is like deciding that you want to be an actress. Good fucking luck! But anyway... So, I decided that I really need to get a steady job to support myself while I set out to "make this dream a freakin' reality." And I got one rather easily! And now, I'm just tired. Tired of my nearly minimum wage job at a book store, tired of having to keep positive about the suckiness that is my life, tired of having people ask me what i'm up to so that I have to pretend to be positive and optimisitic when I'm just not feelin' it right now. I know that's it's just the adjustment period of a new job and my allergies that are kicking my ass and making me all tired. I know! I know I'm a little grumpy whiner when I'm sick and/or tired. I do know! But shit! Something's got to give, man! I had thought that the hard part was over. I thought that once I figured it all out that life wouldn't be so much of a struggle. But here I am, still working hard, still struggling to make enough money to survive, still wondering what I'm doing. I guess I've gone too far to give up now. And I don't have anything to fall back on anyway, so onward, ho!! But I'm tired, man! I'm just so tired!